in your eyes, the stars

Day Two: Nine things about yourself

1. I'M A FANGIRL
Honestly though, I think anyone who's remotely seen me around or heard of me before knows this lol it's like the first basic thing you need to get to know about me. Hmmmm I've been one since 2007 when I got into JE fandom? :) Migrated to kpop during end of 07/start of 08 when my sister tugged me into DBSK fandom hahaha.

Um I can honestly say that I have regretted being a fangirl at times, especially since yknow, it reduces the chances of guys falling in love with you (because srsly what guy would want to date a girl who permanently spazzes over other cute guy? Which is why I need to find a fanboy lmao, because what normal girl would want a guy who flails over SNSD's legs? I mean hey, I'd flail along with him okay <_<) and it takes up time and causes you a lot more heartbreak than you'd have expected... but overall, nope, I think I'm here to stay. At least for a long long time :)

I guess it's because fandom makes me happy in this strange, strange way. It's a lot like love, with all the crazy ups and downs. Maybe it's because I do put a lot of feelings into most of my fandoms, but the happiness you get is equal to the amount of sadness when things go all rocky. It does actually hurt a lot - never really got it until the Jay scandal happened :( I used to think fandom was so much better than relationships because these boys make you smile and laugh without ever making you cry... but I know better now LOL.

But still, being a fangirl is part of who I am, and I think I'd be oddly disappointed if my future daughter turns out to be the complete opposite and all ~calm and rational~ towards cute boys :\


2. I AM SCARED OF A LOT OF THINGS
Ghosts, the dark, gore, horror movies, butterflies, cockroaches, beetles, heights, being alone... I honestly think there's more but yeah I can't list them all off the tip of my tongue :o yeah so I'm a wuss okay :<


3. I REALLY LIKE SKINNY BOYS
Kinda speaks for itself, but still. No, dnw buff guys (even Jjong!guns are too much for me <_<). Yes, I am strange but idgaf :) No, I wouldn't like it if the guy was skinnier than me, but then again that would be really creepy because he'd have to be below 42kg...? 


4. I HATE ~SHARING MY PAIN~
Times when I've been the saddest, I kept them all to myself. I just don't see the point in telling anyone because then I'd just feel stupid and ridiculous, and it's not like he/she can do anything except be all sympathetic and encouraging and I'm all I know you care but tbh you don't understand my pain one bit. Yeah, I'm going to get depression one day and going to a psychologist isn't gonna help because I probably wouldn't talk even then lol :\


5. I CAN BE VERY MEAN TO GUYS I REALLY HAVE NO INTEREST IN
See, I'm oddly practical at times, especially since I'm a fangirl at all and ~time is precious~ because every minute I have things to be doing - watching videos, searching for updates, saving pictures etc etc. So when a guy comes to start a conversation about nonsensical crap I just... feel nothing but annoyance LMAO because it's like "wtf please just go away and leave me to fangirl in peace <_<" And I'm easily creeped out by guys like that :\ yeah I'm antisocial ikr. 

Idk, maybe I'm really mean and awful but isn't it better to be more obvious in showing that you don't actually like him so both of you don't waste your time? I mean, I really don't want to string him along and lead him on and then break his heart. Or worse yet, give him odd delusions that I actually like him and end up getting an annoying scandal that I don't need or want :| 


6. I AM PICKY
Sick of all the bullshizz people feed me about how "YOU'RE MISSING OUT ON SOOOO MUCHHHHH" like stfu no I am not I am perfectly fine the way I am. And no please stop getting me to try food I have no interest in, idgaf if it's actually wonderful and amazing and it's such a shame that I've never tasted it in my life before.

Also, I only eat like 4 fruits: apples, grapes, bananas, oranges :) I hate lettuce and tomatoes and onions and cabbage and the list goes on and on and I like to eat plain stuff like plain prata and subway sandwiches without the toppings + dressings and plain hotcakes. I like to eat the popiah skin just like that without the stuff inside. I cannot stand all seafood except fish and I need to stay at least 1m away from lobsters or I freak the hell out. Prawns are slightly better but I hate their whiskers and shells.

I hate shark's fin (not tasty at all + it irks me even more when I think about the poor sharks even though I'm actually kinda scared of them after watching those discovery channel shows about people getting their limbs ripped off by them) and abalone (disgusted ever since I saw them in Underwater World or something sucking themselves against the glass so I've never dared to try them) and chicken essence (never tried either, looks gross), bird's nest (never tried either + wtf dnw to drink bird saliva k thanks and there's like weird jelly stuff inside??) and okay the list is reaaaaally long. And randomly, I don't like nata de coco and I always spit it out when they're in my jellies.


7. I HAVE ONLY HAD ONE PROPER CRUSH IN MY LIFETIME AND IT LASTED 6 YEARS
The rest were just passing people that actually made me waver an inch and think that hey, just maybe, I could learn to like this guy but in the end it just didn't work out that way :\ Maybe it's because I keep making comparisons but uhhh <_< and okay I know 6 years sounds crazy long but well we were unofficially together for the first 3/4 years so I am not this complete creeper okay urgh >:(

He wasn't the ~perfect boyfriend~ tbh lmao - actually, we argued  + got annoyed and suspicious over quite a lot of ridiculous stuff that I don't even remember anymore lol but haaaaaay it's the good memories that stick with you in the end :') I am over him now, I guess, but I think that there's always gonna be this little bit of him left in my heart for good.


8. I AM EXTREMELY ANAL WHEN IT COMES TO BAD GRAMMAR
I just have the urge to either tear the paper up or go through it correcting every single mistake because it just makes me really really really frustrated and I want to scream because I really do not understand why people can be like this :( like jfc didn't you pay attention during primary school?! And it just sounds wrong. Lol gdi thinking about it is making me annoyed ;_____;

On another note, I cannot stand it when people sms using words like "den" and "wat" and "u" and "lols" and fml I would never ever be able to like a guy who uses that kind of language with me!!! >:( How hard is it to use a proper word urgh it's just a couple of letters' difference wtf? -_- No it's not cool, sry2say.


9. I CANNOT STAND OPPAR-SPEAK
Like fuck no, you do not call people unnie irl, you do not tweet any of the idols going "OPPA SO CUTE :D SARANGHAE~~~" because it's just pathetic, YOU DO NOT REFER TO ANY OF THE IDOLS AS YOUR OPPAS GOD DAMN IT BECAUSE IT'S JUST DISGUSTING AND VOMIT-INDUCING /rage

Please take your skanky xmm asses out of kpop fandom thank you. And close the door before you leave while I partaye with your oppas \o/

Soooo today I went to work for the first time in my life :o conclusion: IT IS AS SHITTY AS PEOPLE MAKE IT OUT TO BE. Not kidding. Imma appreciate school so much more after today like omg I'd rather study for promos again (I hear you saying "NO!") if not for the fact that I'm in dire need for $$$$$$ ;_________;

Went to Tampines to eat lunch with Joey after Maths Trail shizzz, then went to Far East to get her prom dress, then off to Merchant Court! Had ~training~ by idk-how-to-spell-his-name, then got to go off for dinner but didn't even have appetite @___@ and pointed out Woohyun lookalike to Joey but she didn't know what Woohyun looked like zzz <_<

Then it was second briefing by Sean the manager who looks like Zhihao. Ikr. 80% at least, it's srsly creepy o_o got my partner Wei Xiang who turned out to be Woohyun lookalike LMAO.

Then whole night went by like awfupaweufaew idk how I managed to stand it!!! Carrying the stupid appetizer was shit, and getting the chinaware for the shark's fin soup was the worst I'm never gonna try doing the shoulder carrying thing ever again nearly dropped lor wahlao ;___; then it got a lot better as time went on but that's because I got used to the fact that there is absolutely no rest time at all. You're either heading to the bar to get drinks, the kitchen to put dirty plates + get new food + refill the teapot, and god I don't even know... so you're walking all over the place ALL THE TIME without any rest at all srsly criiiiiiiiiies ;_________________;

And okay must thank Wei Xiang x100000000 because he helped me with shizz when I was behind time like clearing up stuff and all! Even though he was super busy because his table people kept ordering hard liquor @_@

AND I HAVE TO SAY, I'VE NEVER BEEN SO RELIEVED TO SEE A WEDDING DINNER END LOLLLLLL was all "omfg I can't believe I did it and it's over!!!" And yknow how bad things always seem less awful as time passes... although I really can't bring myself to do this on Sunday night again, really must get a week's worth of rest time before I go again :o

So tired ;____; work sucks, I think I'd rather mug my ass off in school, but then again I'm really not gonna be doing this kind of ~casual labour~ shit when I grow up or I'm gonna kill myself. + I'm probably thinking this way since promos are over already lollll

But anyway, I EARNED $30 TODAY :) so proud of myself. Never gonna waste money anymoreeee ;___;

~

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now

1. MYUNGSOO
Why are you like this :( Imma gonna be seeing you tomorrow but I'm still oddly jealous by the fanaccounts and the fact that you used your DSLR to take pictures of the fans in the airport ;____; and even taking the PIE roadsign lmaoooo this is why I love you :')

2. JOEY
I'm srsly bloody tired omggggg but can you believe it's tomorrow?! ;~; and at least you get to see your Key bb okay my Jjong is like <_< far far away. But I guess that reduces my chances of going crazy and dying all over the place HAHAHA. Help me say thanks to your parents for sending me home hahahaha 8) and I wanna go sleep but my hair is wet zzz

3. WEI XIANG
HI PARTNER THANK YOU FOR SAVING MY LIFE 500 TIMES TODAY! Rest of the stuff all above lmao

4. JONGHYUN
~I really hate you but I love you~ :( sigh just rest well bb, we have plenty of other chances? :D? Fix your ankle asap please ♥

5. ZHIHAO
Hiiiiiiii can I borrow money from you ;______________; colourful~~~~

6. SHALEEN
Hope you're having fun in Dubaiiiiii! We miss youuuuu visit us when you come back for Hari Raya k 8(

7. KC
Fuck you very much :) 

8. ANGELIQUE
Cheer uppppp it's going to be okay \o/

9. MY FEET
Just... stop hurting :\

10. BIG BANG, SNSD, SHINEE, FT ISLAND, ZE:A, INFINITE, D-NA
Not exactly only one person but SEE YOU GUYS TOMO - LATER TODAAAAAAAAAAAAY :)

So... you can probably tell I'm really bored and trying to stay awake by doing lame quizzes because the announcement of the V5 band is supposed to be out soon lol

RULES:
1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
4. Tag 15 friends.
5. Everyone tagged has to do the same thing
6. Have Fun!


1. If someone says "are you okay?" you say? 5x10 - Arashi
i.e. I have no idea, man.

2. How would you describe yourself? 내 머리가 나빠서 (Because I'm Stupid) - 김현중 (Kim Hyunjoong)
LOL that's the answer right there.

3. What do you like in a guy/girl? いつだって君に - JYJ
It will always be you = faithfulness? :o

4. How do you feel today? HEY! (Don't Bring Me Down) - 東方神起
I can't believe this actually makes sense lolll

5. What is your life's purpose? Only You (Acoustic Mix) - 2PM
Speaks for itself lmao

6. What is your motto? Tik Tok - Ke$ha
...

7. What do your friends think of you? Let's go Girls' Generation!! (Short Version) - 소녀시대 (Girls' Generation)
LMAO IDEK MAN

8. What do you think about very often? 나를 바라봐 (Look at me) - 박홍
:( this sucks, not fun when it makes sense one lol

9. What is 2+2? 힘 내! (Way To Go) - 소녀시대 (Girls' Generation)
Ooooookay

10. What do you think of your best friend? Intro - U-KISS
-_-

11. What is your life story? 니가 좋아 (I Like You) - U-KISS
FML LOL /flings chair

12. What do you want to be when you grow up? V.I.U (Very Important U) - B2ST
Okay.....

13. What do you think when you see the person you like? Somebody To Love - 東方神起
-_-

14. What will you dance to at your wedding? Forever Or Never - SHINee
LOL this song doesn't even have a dance...? :o?

15. What will they play at your funeral? Two Hearts - Shim Changmin
LMAO okay

16. What is your hobby/interest? Purple Line - 東方神起
Um...

17. What's your biggest fear? TTL Listen 2 - T-ara & Supernova
o_o

18. What do you want right now? Planetarium - Otsuka Ai
Not really LOL

19. What do you think of your friend? 이별드립 (Level Up) - ZE:A (제국의 아이들)
Separation Drip? Level Up? :o

20. What will you post this as? Love is... - 東方神起