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i love what i love, i hate what i hate~
Nov. 10th, 2010 10:01 pmOkay long and ridiculous post so click the cut if you want to read lmao.
( skinny boys vs buff boys; you already know my answer so yeah )
Okay I'm lazy and sleepy so this is the end lmao. Might continue some other time :o
( skinny boys vs buff boys; you already know my answer so yeah )Okay I'm lazy and sleepy so this is the end lmao. Might continue some other time :o
Someone please tell me this isn't happening. I'm scared but at the same time, not really - it's like I've totally become a third person who's too numb to feel anything. I guess I always knew something like this was going to happen - after the whole DBSK + 2PM shitfests I pretty much stopped believing in all my fandoms already - but I didn't expect it was going to happen so fast.
God, I have loved these boys since debut. I have squealed over their teaser photos and then their debut MV when it got released, I have joined in the discussion as to what to name their fanclub. And now you tell me they might disband some time soon? I just... :\
It's not exactly too much to handle, but it's hard. I once said I'd leave fandom if SHINee disbanded, but then I got tangled up with ZE:A + Infinite + Teen Top as well. And the thing is, I know they aren't going to last forever too. So I'll just go through the same heartbreak another 4.57 million times, each time becoming more jaded and less willing to believe what they say. And one day I'll end up being so filled with resentment and disillusionment I just can't bring myself to love any of them anymore, and I guess that's when I'll stop being a fangirl.
I never believed you guys would last forever - I just thought you would have lasted a little longer than this. I guess I'm already luckier than most, considering I've had the chance to love and watch over them from the start, in comparison to the people who only knew of their existence last year or something. But that also makes me a little more prone to heartbreak, and idk it feels like watching your baby die or something while you can't do anything about it.
I can't say I wish you guys had been a little stronger, because I understand that you're going through a lot more pain than us, especially with Key and his personal issues that are making him so desperate to get out of SME. I know that it's a lot of hard work, probably so much more than I would ever be able to imagine, and I appreciate the fact that you guys have managed to withstand it for more than 2 years.
I just wish things could have been a little different. I wish Korean entertainment companies weren't so fucked up. I wish they would stop mistreating their artists and beating them up and blackmailing each other and going bankrupt so easily. I wish they'd learn from JE and produce groups that last for 20 to 30 years and never disappear.
I've been getting really exhausted lately. Fandom keeps me happy and alive, but it's tiring to invest so much love and hope into it at the same time.
I don't need people telling me "don't worry it's probably all fake THEY WON'T DISBAND". More like I don't even want it. I don't want to keep telling myself that it's going to be okay and feeling even more shitty when it turns out that nothing is going to be okay. I want to keep telling myself to prepare for the worst, that sure it's going to happen but you're going to be able to ride this out, that you'll get over it, you just need time. Like hey, I did get over the 2PM shitfest after all - what makes me think that I won't be able to look back on this and think oh yeah, I was all fucked up over it once but I'm over it now?
To anyone who wants to know the situation: 1, 2, 3
God, I have loved these boys since debut. I have squealed over their teaser photos and then their debut MV when it got released, I have joined in the discussion as to what to name their fanclub. And now you tell me they might disband some time soon? I just... :\
It's not exactly too much to handle, but it's hard. I once said I'd leave fandom if SHINee disbanded, but then I got tangled up with ZE:A + Infinite + Teen Top as well. And the thing is, I know they aren't going to last forever too. So I'll just go through the same heartbreak another 4.57 million times, each time becoming more jaded and less willing to believe what they say. And one day I'll end up being so filled with resentment and disillusionment I just can't bring myself to love any of them anymore, and I guess that's when I'll stop being a fangirl.
I never believed you guys would last forever - I just thought you would have lasted a little longer than this. I guess I'm already luckier than most, considering I've had the chance to love and watch over them from the start, in comparison to the people who only knew of their existence last year or something. But that also makes me a little more prone to heartbreak, and idk it feels like watching your baby die or something while you can't do anything about it.
I can't say I wish you guys had been a little stronger, because I understand that you're going through a lot more pain than us, especially with Key and his personal issues that are making him so desperate to get out of SME. I know that it's a lot of hard work, probably so much more than I would ever be able to imagine, and I appreciate the fact that you guys have managed to withstand it for more than 2 years.
I just wish things could have been a little different. I wish Korean entertainment companies weren't so fucked up. I wish they would stop mistreating their artists and beating them up and blackmailing each other and going bankrupt so easily. I wish they'd learn from JE and produce groups that last for 20 to 30 years and never disappear.
I've been getting really exhausted lately. Fandom keeps me happy and alive, but it's tiring to invest so much love and hope into it at the same time.
I don't need people telling me "don't worry it's probably all fake THEY WON'T DISBAND". More like I don't even want it. I don't want to keep telling myself that it's going to be okay and feeling even more shitty when it turns out that nothing is going to be okay. I want to keep telling myself to prepare for the worst, that sure it's going to happen but you're going to be able to ride this out, that you'll get over it, you just need time. Like hey, I did get over the 2PM shitfest after all - what makes me think that I won't be able to look back on this and think oh yeah, I was all fucked up over it once but I'm over it now?
To anyone who wants to know the situation: 1, 2, 3
| “I want to be remembered as the girl who always smiles even when her heart is broken, and the one that could always brighten up your day even if she couldn't brighten her own.” |
Got back all of my results! Pleasantly surprised, kind of, because I really didn't expect this for LA, Chi Lit and Chinese lol :\ History and Geog were pretty much expected though, I can never seem to pass Geog no matter what I do :( + of course Maths lol I never ever dreamed I'd pass and... I didn't HAHAHA :o
Crossing my fingers for everyone~ We can get through this alive, we've done it once already :3
On another note, I'm permanently exhausted all the time and I have no idea why ;___; kpn is in what, 4 days, and I'm not even as excited over it as I thought I'd be. + there's the whole Infinite might be coming for Vaunt 5 bullshizz and I can't believe I'm actually praying to the holy gods of kpop (which are technically DBSK but yeah, you know) for it not to be them BECAUSE I AM ~*FUCKING BROKE*~. Okay, not only the financial stuff, but I feel like I've really been to too many events this year :( yeah ikr, I can't believe I'm actually saying this lolll, it's not like I did tragically for my exams after going to all the stuff, but... idk. Maybe I'm just tired after waking up at 4:50AM today lol.
;~;
fuck yeah jyj \o/
Oct. 4th, 2010 10:21 pmOMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG NOT GETTING OVER THE FACT THAT IN EXACTLY 12 DAYS, I'M GOING TO BE SHAKING JAEJOONG + JUNSU + YOOCHUN'S HANDS AND TAKING A FUCKING PHOTOGRAPH WITH THEM AND I AM FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY GOING TO BE ABLE TO HEAR THEM SING LIVE.
SO HAPPY :') sobbing for 20 minutes while refreshing was kinda worth it lol ilu Mabellynnnnn~
SO HAPPY :') sobbing for 20 minutes while refreshing was kinda worth it lol ilu Mabellynnnnn~
2010 is the year of kpop yo
Sep. 30th, 2010 03:22 pmJYJ - 16 OCT
MNET ULTIMATE LIVE (2PM, 2AM, MBLAQ, MISS A, UNANNOUNCED GROUP) - 4 DEC
IKR, I AM SO FUCKED :)))))
...first time in my life I'm actually worried about how the hell am I going to get the money, gdi. If this continues on into next year I will have nothing left srsly.
Teen Top, bbs, please don't come until at least like middle of next year okay? :( I'm turning into such a huge stan idek. And I was trying to restrain myself afopauf ;____;
ILU MY NEWCOMER IRRELEVANT GROUPS - ZE:A + INFINITE + TEEN TOP *\o/* I'm gonna be so conflicted when it's time for the whole best new group awards though :|
MNET ULTIMATE LIVE (2PM, 2AM, MBLAQ, MISS A, UNANNOUNCED GROUP) - 4 DEC
IKR, I AM SO FUCKED :)))))
...first time in my life I'm actually worried about how the hell am I going to get the money, gdi. If this continues on into next year I will have nothing left srsly.
Teen Top, bbs, please don't come until at least like middle of next year okay? :( I'm turning into such a huge stan idek. And I was trying to restrain myself afopauf ;____;
ILU MY NEWCOMER IRRELEVANT GROUPS - ZE:A + INFINITE + TEEN TOP *\o/* I'm gonna be so conflicted when it's time for the whole best new group awards though :|
the unspoken ~rulez~ of Kpop fandom
Sep. 14th, 2010 10:06 amPresenting: the unspoken ~rulez~ of Kpop fandom
Okay I just did this for fun because I'm, ngl, kinda fed up with the ~new fans~ who have no idea how things work. Based on experience of 3 years lol so don't judge.
1. Do not call anyone you know irl "unnie" or "oppa". Srsly. Unless you want to be labelled a newfag or a koreaboo, ofc.
2. Racist wank will never ever be cool.
3. Get into new groups the moment they came out because they'll either be flops or the new hits. Then either way you can whine and be ~cool~ and say your fandom is irrelevant but precious, or insist that you've been ~true~ from the start.
4. Hating girl groups (especially SNSD) is so centuries ago .
5. Bait the trolls only if you're funny.
6. Da interwebz is not srs biznass. If someone insults you, just "lmao" it off. Do not try and argue back, srsly.
7. Do not talk lyk dis................... Short forms are only acceptable if they're actually acronyms for something i.e. "stfd", "idgaf", "iirc" etc.
8. For livejournal users, DISABLE CUSTOMIZED COMMENT PAGES. Also, do not ever use headers (made by yourselves) with your two boys gazing lovingly at each other and flowing lyrical text.
9. Icons need to have good colouring and nice spacing. Gif icons are also the new thing.
10. If you want to be a BNF: either write good fic or be a mod. Get a clique, flail about blatantly in each other's journals with comment training, capslocking, keysmashing and a lot of hearts.
11. "XD" needs to be burned.
12. Do not be a cray cray stan for your OTP and gush about how they are ~real~ in public posts.
13. Do not fight over who belongs to who. Might be somewhat acceptable irl, but definitely not on the internetz where everyone is watching you, yo.
14. Please do not call yourself a fan unless you actually devote most of your life to them. Especially if you're a newfag kthx.
15. #learn2kpop :)
/leaves this here anyway
Okay I just did this for fun because I'm, ngl, kinda fed up with the ~new fans~ who have no idea how things work. Based on experience of 3 years lol so don't judge.
1. Do not call anyone you know irl "unnie" or "oppa". Srsly. Unless you want to be labelled a newfag or a koreaboo, ofc.
2. Racist wank will never ever be cool.
3. Get into new groups the moment they came out because they'll either be flops or the new hits. Then either way you can whine and be ~cool~ and say your fandom is irrelevant but precious, or insist that you've been ~true~ from the start.
4. Hating girl groups (especially SNSD) is so centuries ago .
5. Bait the trolls only if you're funny.
6. Da interwebz is not srs biznass. If someone insults you, just "lmao" it off. Do not try and argue back, srsly.
7. Do not talk lyk dis................... Short forms are only acceptable if they're actually acronyms for something i.e. "stfd", "idgaf", "iirc" etc.
8. For livejournal users, DISABLE CUSTOMIZED COMMENT PAGES. Also, do not ever use headers (made by yourselves) with your two boys gazing lovingly at each other and flowing lyrical text.
9. Icons need to have good colouring and nice spacing. Gif icons are also the new thing.
10. If you want to be a BNF: either write good fic or be a mod. Get a clique, flail about blatantly in each other's journals with comment training, capslocking, keysmashing and a lot of hearts.
11. "XD" needs to be burned.
12. Do not be a cray cray stan for your OTP and gush about how they are ~real~ in public posts.
13. Do not fight over who belongs to who. Might be somewhat acceptable irl, but definitely not on the internetz where everyone is watching you, yo.
14. Please do not call yourself a fan unless you actually devote most of your life to them. Especially if you're a newfag kthx.
15. #learn2kpop :)
/leaves this here anyway
i loved you like a fool
Sep. 4th, 2010 10:48 pmFucking exhausted lol like, it's not even a joke. It's barely 11 and I'm about to collapse on my bed except for the fact that I'm eating Famous Amos cookies, so yeah /random
First off, thank you so much to ~Handsome Shawn~ for going over to 313 at 10+PM to help us get the tickets! Even though Proof Label cannot count and somehow ended up giving the first 500 the last 500 queue numbers... yeah :\
Got up in the morning for tuition, then went over to Citylink to get my Leap For Detonation albums :) Then met up with Joey and we went over to Plaza Sing to pass my ZE:A message to the mods at "the Starbuck" lmao. Then KFC for lunch~ Did a bit of math, then went on fb to check out the stuff over at 313. Then there was this girl who was offering to "let go" of her queue numbers so we rushed there and it turned out she was selling them for $100+ -_- Yeah, $100+ for a queue number. And you don't even know if you'll end up getting a ticket or not, wtf.
Then ended up calling Yijie's brother to ask for his friend's details aka Ahmad/Matt/~Mad Hatter~ lmao. Met him at Food Republic, then we attempted to study a bit more but we got so worried we went down to see the situation lol. Then hung around, met some super hiong fans (aka leader lady who stalks Hyunjoong like all over the planet. Seriously. He like, remembers her wtf) who convinced me and Joey to get standing pit tickets apofuaowpef :( PLEASE TELL US WE WILL NOT REGRET THIS HAHAHA.
After a few hours we finally got our hands on the tix!! Hahaha Awesome Ahmad is super cool :) He was all "just go for standing pit! We can all go together and we'll let you girls stand in the front!" so um yeah ;~~; MALE SONES JJANG :3
So yaaaay to Big Bang + SNSD + SHINee + FT Island + Infinite + D-NA in 49 days? 8D And ZE:A in 7 days! Okay 6 since I'm stalking them on Friday lmao :o
First off, thank you so much to ~Handsome Shawn~ for going over to 313 at 10+PM to help us get the tickets! Even though Proof Label cannot count and somehow ended up giving the first 500 the last 500 queue numbers... yeah :\
Got up in the morning for tuition, then went over to Citylink to get my Leap For Detonation albums :) Then met up with Joey and we went over to Plaza Sing to pass my ZE:A message to the mods at "the Starbuck" lmao. Then KFC for lunch~ Did a bit of math, then went on fb to check out the stuff over at 313. Then there was this girl who was offering to "let go" of her queue numbers so we rushed there and it turned out she was selling them for $100+ -_- Yeah, $100+ for a queue number. And you don't even know if you'll end up getting a ticket or not, wtf.
Then ended up calling Yijie's brother to ask for his friend's details aka Ahmad/Matt/~Mad Hatter~ lmao. Met him at Food Republic, then we attempted to study a bit more but we got so worried we went down to see the situation lol. Then hung around, met some super hiong fans (aka leader lady who stalks Hyunjoong like all over the planet. Seriously. He like, remembers her wtf) who convinced me and Joey to get standing pit tickets apofuaowpef :( PLEASE TELL US WE WILL NOT REGRET THIS HAHAHA.
After a few hours we finally got our hands on the tix!! Hahaha Awesome Ahmad is super cool :) He was all "just go for standing pit! We can all go together and we'll let you girls stand in the front!" so um yeah ;~~; MALE SONES JJANG :3
So yaaaay to Big Bang + SNSD + SHINee + FT Island + Infinite + D-NA in 49 days? 8D And ZE:A in 7 days! Okay 6 since I'm stalking them on Friday lmao :o
top 10 favourite asian idols
Aug. 11th, 2010 10:52 am18 August 2008, from my blog archives:
What are your top 10 favourite Asian idols? (One representative from each group)
Not in order!
Youngwoong Jaejoong: TVXQ
Masuda Takahisa: NEWS
Lee Donghae: Super Junior
Tablo: Epik High
T.O.P: Big Bang
Oguri Shun
Toma Ikuta
Matsumoto Jun: Arashi
Ueda Tatsuya: KAT-TUN
Kim Jonghyun: SHINee
So here is my 11 August 2010 version 8D
Kim Jonghyun (SHINee): lol I think he's the only one who's stayed on this list for 2 years straight :3 my love is amazing ikr.
Im Siwan (ZE:A)
Kevin Woo (U-KISS)
Lee Junho (2PM)
...then I legit have no idea already. I have no bias in SNSD, and idk if MBLAQ, BEAST, CN Blue etc will make it up to this list :o
Even though you made me cry, I gave you my all
I don't have a heart in my chest, nothing but a gaping hole
The night path is so dark, I'm afraid, I'm afraid
I can't see the future without you, I'm scared, I'm scared
-- I Want To Cry (Brave Brothers feat. Jay Park)
What are your top 10 favourite Asian idols? (One representative from each group)
Not in order!
Youngwoong Jaejoong: TVXQ
Masuda Takahisa: NEWS
Lee Donghae: Super Junior
Tablo: Epik High
T.O.P: Big Bang
Oguri Shun
Toma Ikuta
Matsumoto Jun: Arashi
Ueda Tatsuya: KAT-TUN
Kim Jonghyun: SHINee
So here is my 11 August 2010 version 8D
Kim Jonghyun (SHINee): lol I think he's the only one who's stayed on this list for 2 years straight :3 my love is amazing ikr.
Im Siwan (ZE:A)
Kevin Woo (U-KISS)
Lee Junho (2PM)
...then I legit have no idea already. I have no bias in SNSD, and idk if MBLAQ, BEAST, CN Blue etc will make it up to this list :o
Even though you made me cry, I gave you my all
I don't have a heart in my chest, nothing but a gaping hole
The night path is so dark, I'm afraid, I'm afraid
I can't see the future without you, I'm scared, I'm scared
-- I Want To Cry (Brave Brothers feat. Jay Park)
