can't live my life this way
Oct. 25th, 2010 10:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
empireboysDay Two: Nine things about yourself
1. I'M A FANGIRL
Honestly though, I think anyone who's remotely seen me around or heard of me before knows this lol it's like the first basic thing you need to get to know about me. Hmmmm I've been one since 2007 when I got into JE fandom? :) Migrated to kpop during end of 07/start of 08 when my sister tugged me into DBSK fandom hahaha.
Um I can honestly say that I have regretted being a fangirl at times, especially since yknow, it reduces the chances of guys falling in love with you (because srsly what guy would want to date a girl who permanently spazzes over other cute guy? Which is why I need to find a fanboy lmao, because what normal girl would want a guy who flails over SNSD's legs? I mean hey, I'd flail along with him okay <_<) and it takes up time and causes you a lot more heartbreak than you'd have expected... but overall, nope, I think I'm here to stay. At least for a long long time :)
I guess it's because fandom makes me happy in this strange, strange way. It's a lot like love, with all the crazy ups and downs. Maybe it's because I do put a lot of feelings into most of my fandoms, but the happiness you get is equal to the amount of sadness when things go all rocky. It does actually hurt a lot - never really got it until the Jay scandal happened :( I used to think fandom was so much better than relationships because these boys make you smile and laugh without ever making you cry... but I know better now LOL.
But still, being a fangirl is part of who I am, and I think I'd be oddly disappointed if my future daughter turns out to be the complete opposite and all ~calm and rational~ towards cute boys :\
2. I AM SCARED OF A LOT OF THINGS
Ghosts, the dark, gore, horror movies, butterflies, cockroaches, beetles, heights, being alone... I honestly think there's more but yeah I can't list them all off the tip of my tongue :o yeah so I'm a wuss okay :<
3. I REALLY LIKE SKINNY BOYS
Kinda speaks for itself, but still. No, dnw buff guys (even Jjong!guns are too much for me <_<). Yes, I am strange but idgaf :) No, I wouldn't like it if the guy was skinnier than me, but then again that would be really creepy because he'd have to be below 42kg...?
4. I HATE ~SHARING MY PAIN~
Times when I've been the saddest, I kept them all to myself. I just don't see the point in telling anyone because then I'd just feel stupid and ridiculous, and it's not like he/she can do anything except be all sympathetic and encouraging and I'm all I know you care but tbh you don't understand my pain one bit. Yeah, I'm going to get depression one day and going to a psychologist isn't gonna help because I probably wouldn't talk even then lol :\
5. I CAN BE VERY MEAN TO GUYS I REALLY HAVE NO INTEREST IN
See, I'm oddly practical at times, especially since I'm a fangirl at all and ~time is precious~ because every minute I have things to be doing - watching videos, searching for updates, saving pictures etc etc. So when a guy comes to start a conversation about nonsensical crap I just... feel nothing but annoyance LMAO because it's like "wtf please just go away and leave me to fangirl in peace <_<" And I'm easily creeped out by guys like that :\ yeah I'm antisocial ikr.
Idk, maybe I'm really mean and awful but isn't it better to be more obvious in showing that you don't actually like him so both of you don't waste your time? I mean, I really don't want to string him along and lead him on and then break his heart. Or worse yet, give him odd delusions that I actually like him and end up getting an annoying scandal that I don't need or want :|
6. I AM PICKY
Sick of all the bullshizz people feed me about how "YOU'RE MISSING OUT ON SOOOO MUCHHHHH" like stfu no I am not I am perfectly fine the way I am. And no please stop getting me to try food I have no interest in, idgaf if it's actually wonderful and amazing and it's such a shame that I've never tasted it in my life before.
Also, I only eat like 4 fruits: apples, grapes, bananas, oranges :) I hate lettuce and tomatoes and onions and cabbage and the list goes on and on and I like to eat plain stuff like plain prata and subway sandwiches without the toppings + dressings and plain hotcakes. I like to eat the popiah skin just like that without the stuff inside. I cannot stand all seafood except fish and I need to stay at least 1m away from lobsters or I freak the hell out. Prawns are slightly better but I hate their whiskers and shells.
I hate shark's fin (not tasty at all + it irks me even more when I think about the poor sharks even though I'm actually kinda scared of them after watching those discovery channel shows about people getting their limbs ripped off by them) and abalone (disgusted ever since I saw them in Underwater World or something sucking themselves against the glass so I've never dared to try them) and chicken essence (never tried either, looks gross), bird's nest (never tried either + wtf dnw to drink bird saliva k thanks and there's like weird jelly stuff inside??) and okay the list is reaaaaally long. And randomly, I don't like nata de coco and I always spit it out when they're in my jellies.
7. I HAVE ONLY HAD ONE PROPER CRUSH IN MY LIFETIME AND IT LASTED 6 YEARS
The rest were just passing people that actually made me waver an inch and think that hey, just maybe, I could learn to like this guy but in the end it just didn't work out that way :\ Maybe it's because I keep making comparisons but uhhh <_< and okay I know 6 years sounds crazy long but well we were unofficially together for the first 3/4 years so I am not this complete creeper okay urgh >:(
He wasn't the ~perfect boyfriend~ tbh lmao - actually, we argued + got annoyed and suspicious over quite a lot of ridiculous stuff that I don't even remember anymore lol but haaaaaay it's the good memories that stick with you in the end :') I am over him now, I guess, but I think that there's always gonna be this little bit of him left in my heart for good.
8. I AM EXTREMELY ANAL WHEN IT COMES TO BAD GRAMMAR
I just have the urge to either tear the paper up or go through it correcting every single mistake because it just makes me really really really frustrated and I want to scream because I really do not understand why people can be like this :( like jfc didn't you pay attention during primary school?! And it just sounds wrong. Lol gdi thinking about it is making me annoyed ;_____;
On another note, I cannot stand it when people sms using words like "den" and "wat" and "u" and "lols" and fml I would never ever be able to like a guy who uses that kind of language with me!!! >:( How hard is it to use a proper word urgh it's just a couple of letters' difference wtf? -_- No it's not cool, sry2say.
9. I CANNOT STAND OPPAR-SPEAK
Like fuck no, you do not call people unnie irl, you do not tweet any of the idols going "OPPA SO CUTE :D SARANGHAE~~~" because it's just pathetic, YOU DO NOT REFER TO ANY OF THE IDOLS AS YOUR OPPAS GOD DAMN IT BECAUSE IT'S JUST DISGUSTING AND VOMIT-INDUCING /rage
Please take your skanky xmm asses out of kpop fandom thank you. And close the door before you leave while I partaye with your oppas \o/
1. I'M A FANGIRL
Honestly though, I think anyone who's remotely seen me around or heard of me before knows this lol it's like the first basic thing you need to get to know about me. Hmmmm I've been one since 2007 when I got into JE fandom? :) Migrated to kpop during end of 07/start of 08 when my sister tugged me into DBSK fandom hahaha.
Um I can honestly say that I have regretted being a fangirl at times, especially since yknow, it reduces the chances of guys falling in love with you (because srsly what guy would want to date a girl who permanently spazzes over other cute guy? Which is why I need to find a fanboy lmao, because what normal girl would want a guy who flails over SNSD's legs? I mean hey, I'd flail along with him okay <_<) and it takes up time and causes you a lot more heartbreak than you'd have expected... but overall, nope, I think I'm here to stay. At least for a long long time :)
I guess it's because fandom makes me happy in this strange, strange way. It's a lot like love, with all the crazy ups and downs. Maybe it's because I do put a lot of feelings into most of my fandoms, but the happiness you get is equal to the amount of sadness when things go all rocky. It does actually hurt a lot - never really got it until the Jay scandal happened :( I used to think fandom was so much better than relationships because these boys make you smile and laugh without ever making you cry... but I know better now LOL.
But still, being a fangirl is part of who I am, and I think I'd be oddly disappointed if my future daughter turns out to be the complete opposite and all ~calm and rational~ towards cute boys :\
2. I AM SCARED OF A LOT OF THINGS
Ghosts, the dark, gore, horror movies, butterflies, cockroaches, beetles, heights, being alone... I honestly think there's more but yeah I can't list them all off the tip of my tongue :o yeah so I'm a wuss okay :<
3. I REALLY LIKE SKINNY BOYS
Kinda speaks for itself, but still. No, dnw buff guys (even Jjong!guns are too much for me <_<). Yes, I am strange but idgaf :) No, I wouldn't like it if the guy was skinnier than me, but then again that would be really creepy because he'd have to be below 42kg...?
4. I HATE ~SHARING MY PAIN~
Times when I've been the saddest, I kept them all to myself. I just don't see the point in telling anyone because then I'd just feel stupid and ridiculous, and it's not like he/she can do anything except be all sympathetic and encouraging and I'm all I know you care but tbh you don't understand my pain one bit. Yeah, I'm going to get depression one day and going to a psychologist isn't gonna help because I probably wouldn't talk even then lol :\
5. I CAN BE VERY MEAN TO GUYS I REALLY HAVE NO INTEREST IN
See, I'm oddly practical at times, especially since I'm a fangirl at all and ~time is precious~ because every minute I have things to be doing - watching videos, searching for updates, saving pictures etc etc. So when a guy comes to start a conversation about nonsensical crap I just... feel nothing but annoyance LMAO because it's like "wtf please just go away and leave me to fangirl in peace <_<" And I'm easily creeped out by guys like that :\ yeah I'm antisocial ikr.
Idk, maybe I'm really mean and awful but isn't it better to be more obvious in showing that you don't actually like him so both of you don't waste your time? I mean, I really don't want to string him along and lead him on and then break his heart. Or worse yet, give him odd delusions that I actually like him and end up getting an annoying scandal that I don't need or want :|
6. I AM PICKY
Sick of all the bullshizz people feed me about how "YOU'RE MISSING OUT ON SOOOO MUCHHHHH" like stfu no I am not I am perfectly fine the way I am. And no please stop getting me to try food I have no interest in, idgaf if it's actually wonderful and amazing and it's such a shame that I've never tasted it in my life before.
Also, I only eat like 4 fruits: apples, grapes, bananas, oranges :) I hate lettuce and tomatoes and onions and cabbage and the list goes on and on and I like to eat plain stuff like plain prata and subway sandwiches without the toppings + dressings and plain hotcakes. I like to eat the popiah skin just like that without the stuff inside. I cannot stand all seafood except fish and I need to stay at least 1m away from lobsters or I freak the hell out. Prawns are slightly better but I hate their whiskers and shells.
I hate shark's fin (not tasty at all + it irks me even more when I think about the poor sharks even though I'm actually kinda scared of them after watching those discovery channel shows about people getting their limbs ripped off by them) and abalone (disgusted ever since I saw them in Underwater World or something sucking themselves against the glass so I've never dared to try them) and chicken essence (never tried either, looks gross), bird's nest (never tried either + wtf dnw to drink bird saliva k thanks and there's like weird jelly stuff inside??) and okay the list is reaaaaally long. And randomly, I don't like nata de coco and I always spit it out when they're in my jellies.
7. I HAVE ONLY HAD ONE PROPER CRUSH IN MY LIFETIME AND IT LASTED 6 YEARS
The rest were just passing people that actually made me waver an inch and think that hey, just maybe, I could learn to like this guy but in the end it just didn't work out that way :\ Maybe it's because I keep making comparisons but uhhh <_< and okay I know 6 years sounds crazy long but well we were unofficially together for the first 3/4 years so I am not this complete creeper okay urgh >:(
He wasn't the ~perfect boyfriend~ tbh lmao - actually, we argued + got annoyed and suspicious over quite a lot of ridiculous stuff that I don't even remember anymore lol but haaaaaay it's the good memories that stick with you in the end :') I am over him now, I guess, but I think that there's always gonna be this little bit of him left in my heart for good.
8. I AM EXTREMELY ANAL WHEN IT COMES TO BAD GRAMMAR
I just have the urge to either tear the paper up or go through it correcting every single mistake because it just makes me really really really frustrated and I want to scream because I really do not understand why people can be like this :( like jfc didn't you pay attention during primary school?! And it just sounds wrong. Lol gdi thinking about it is making me annoyed ;_____;
On another note, I cannot stand it when people sms using words like "den" and "wat" and "u" and "lols" and fml I would never ever be able to like a guy who uses that kind of language with me!!! >:( How hard is it to use a proper word urgh it's just a couple of letters' difference wtf? -_- No it's not cool, sry2say.
9. I CANNOT STAND OPPAR-SPEAK
Like fuck no, you do not call people unnie irl, you do not tweet any of the idols going "OPPA SO CUTE :D SARANGHAE~~~" because it's just pathetic, YOU DO NOT REFER TO ANY OF THE IDOLS AS YOUR OPPAS GOD DAMN IT BECAUSE IT'S JUST DISGUSTING AND VOMIT-INDUCING /rage
Please take your skanky xmm asses out of kpop fandom thank you. And close the door before you leave while I partaye with your oppas \o/
