in your eyes, the stars

confusion confusion confusion on one hand but on the other hand why are things always so complicated

Time's Up

So I'm seventeen now \o/ thank you everyone for the amazing day: Jieshi + Justin + Ja + Enoch + Nic for the present and card, Sean for the talk, Chubin for the card and origami thingyyy, Farren for the present, Sheryl for the drink treat, Hao for the lift surprise etc :D plus all the people who wished me one way or another :)

Had a tragic time learning how to swaveboard in the heat. Got an elbow injury which sucks cause I can't straighten/bend it or it'll hurt like hell so I have to keep it permanently at an approximately 90-degree angle :| hurts like a bitch when it touches water too. Sigh. And the bruises on my legs are... amazing. But I bruise easily so then again, yeah. And then there was the feverrr but hey at least I got to skip school today :)

All in all, it was great ^^v about my birthday resolution... not sure if I'll manage to live up to it though hahaha. There hasn't been a chance to test it out yet though lol :o but it'll come.

But see, I knew you could do it :) I believed in you. I still do. The only thing I can always place my bets on when it comes to you, really, is your determination and pride and competitiveness, which is why I'm not surprised at all. Congratulations :')

~

“Some people can just move on, you know. They mourn and cry and then they’re done with it or at least appear to be. But to me, I don’t know. I didn’t want to fix it; I didn’t want to forget it. It wasn’t something that was broken, it was just something that happened. And I’m finding ways, everyday, of working around it. I’m respecting and remembering it, but I’m getting along with my life at the same time.”

Even now, when I look at you, my heart hurts
Even if it's just for a moment, I try hard not to let my tears fall
Don't you know that I'm smiling like a fool?
Can you and I really become friends like before?
Can we really do that?
-- Reset (Super Junior)

~

Day Five

Am I even supposed to continue counting? Because I'm alright now. Which probably isn't a good sign since I'm starting to feel more and more like some sort of crack addict - I fall to pieces whenever you don't talk to me and come back to life when you do, which means that I'm terribly dependent on you, which is probably really unhealthy. I need... rehab. Lol.

So yeah got back most of our results! Not exactly satisfied with my econs but I shouldn't be a bitch since quite a lot of people were worse off. I just... kinda expected a bit more, I guess. SEA Hist was... okay? I think my overall for history will be a D, maybe.

Celebrated Jieshi's birthday yesterday! Happy 17th dear, I'm really v thankful to have you as a friend :) :) :)

Today was kinda insane, went around in school with my sister and people kept giving us weird looks LOL Cherie actually recoiled in shock hahahaha! Anyway the squashers kinda suck at BBQ (HAHA) so we left after watching people play + chatting etc! Went to NYNY for dinner/supper! And talked a lot lah. Haha :D

Draineddd. But omg Siwan is looking so adorable lately, I guess it's a sign that I should start paying a bit more attention to fandom :B



*______*

You know, like Sean, I've always thought people who jumped from person to person calling each and every one of them special, claiming they were truly in love with every of them... well, ridiculous, really. Maybe it's because I don't fall for people easily, but I refuse to believe love comes that easily, or leaves equally easily, either.

Which is why I shall be patient and wait for love to come around. Maybe I'm supposed to be strong and brave and courageous enough to chase after what I really want, but hey, I've never been that kind of girl. And right now I'm tired and even though I'm sick of waiting, I think this time I'll wait around for someone to turn up and completely surprise me and make me see why it never worked out with anyone else.

So yes, I will just wait patiently for a guy to sweep me off my feet, to live up to all my hidden expectations and show me that fairytales really can come true sometimes. For someone meant for me and me alone, someone who has been waiting for me all his life the way I have been waiting for him. Someone who will do anything in his ability to turn up at my side if I need a hug. Someone whose world will revolve around me, someone who needs me as much as I need him, someone who will end all our arguments with a but I love you. Someone who will make every day a surprise. Someone who knows that I am a giddy romanticist at heart and I want my life to be a love story. Someone who will read up the translations of Beautiful and learn the lyrics and sing it to me while meaning every single word. Someone who will smile at me like he's never smiled at anyone else before. Someone who will make me smile like I've never smiled at anyone else before. Someone who will catch me before I leave, who has stars in his eyes, who will move heaven and earth for me. Someone who will fulfill all of these qualities and stun me and I will pull out this list again and be amazed that someone this perfect for me exists.

But right now, right now I shall just prove that I don't need a guy in my life to be happy. And that being alone beats being a slut, tyvm :)



Because I loved you
Because I have no regrets
Take away only the happy memories
I can stand it, I can endure it
Through this you have to be happy
Day by day, it fades away
-- Haru Haru (Big Bang)

If I take a step closer
You'll take two steps back
I want you closer
Close to me so I can't let go
-- I Don't Know (A Pink)

~

Back to testing your limits, haha. I guess some things don't change even though it's been... almost six months? :o

But still. Thank you, really :) :) :) /stubborngirl94

And if you have a minute, why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go somewhere only we know?

~

Caught myself laughing, and then I just wanted to cry. Where else am I ever going to find another boy as ridiculous as you? :|

Funny how a simple good night text can make me :) instantly. Four days felt like eternity, just so you know.

Sometimes things fall apart so better ones can fall together. You know who you are, stay strong and keep your head up okay we all know you've done your best :D :D :D

I'd give you all the luck in the world if I could ♥ all the best, you will always be amazing to me no matter what /virtual hug :3